I know I'm a day late on this post, but I was hardly home an hour yesterday. For those of you that don't know, October 15th is the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and infant Loss. For the past 5 years Hospice of Chattanooga has had a candlelighting on this day. I was actually one of the very first perinatal patients with Hospice in Chattanooga. When we knew Josiah would die, Hospice stepped in and took care of our family. I wanted to give back and I heal through action, so when I found out about October 15th, I had to do something. I approached Hospice with the idea of a candlelighting in 2004. Through my plan and their support, an annual tradition was born. It is one I participate in every year although since last night was Wed., I had to leave early for Bible class. I got to catch up with some people and put Josiah's name on the memory table. The girls got to release a balloon early (Miriam asked to do this). I am so glad that there is this beautiful special occasion to remember our babies.
Here is a poem I wrote after Josiah's death. For background, he died 5 days before he was born and despite all the pain/sadness I went through, I would do it all over again just to be able to hold him again!
GRIEF FLOOD
If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to you alive
And give birth to you five days earlier
So we could look in each other's eyes.
If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to you in the womb
And memorize every kick,
Mark every move.
If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to before this pain,
And just to have the chance to hold you once more,
I would do it all over again.
But my tears can not turn back time,
My son,
Instead they fall uselessly down my cheeks.
I have lost my life- my child,
They drown in this flood of grief.
3 comments:
One of our's church member's niece is in the hospital now delivering twin girls who've already gone to heaven. She's been in labor 2 days and is very tired and broken. I'm sure you can relate to her grief. Please pray for her. Her name is Tracy. Thanks!
The poem is beautiful, it brought tears to my eyes.
I am glad that you have been able to work with Hospice like that. Our old neighbors, Matt and Christy Broom, lost their son Bryan when he was 8 weeks old back when Ryan was a baby. I know they have benefited a lot from Hospice and I think they work a lot with them also.
What a touching testament to your son's memory. That's a beautiful poem, though I'm sorry that you ever had occasion to write it. Thank you for sharing it and for what you have helped to do for the families of the area who have lost children.
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