Of course my mom recently moved down here from Columbia, TN, but all the rest of my family is still there. So this past weekend me, the girls, mom, and AJ all went up to see everyone since it has been 2 months since mom & dad moved. I have a great aunt who is very sick right now. They have discovered she has inoperable cancer. She got moved into a nursing home with a room close to another of my great aunts. Although they are my great-aunts, I have always been close to them and they are more like aunts to me. It is sad to see them get to this point. We got to see both of my grandparents and spend time with them. My dad's parents live on a farm and had some kittens to play with so the kids stayed outside and played with them the whole time (except when the food was ready). Then, my mom's mom spoils the kids and gave them all some money. AJ and Miriam both got another Webkinz and Miriam now has 13. We had a good trip.
Yesterday, I went to my first appointment with Debi. While I could tell the baby was growing because I am, it was nice to get reassurance that everything was okay. I am measuring just right and we even got to hear the baby's heartbeat. I also seem to be doing good health wise and haven't gained any weight yet. Jeremy and the girls came too. Miriam is so cute. She followed Debi around and watched everything she did intently. She knows so much about all this pregnancy and birth stuff anyway because of me. Maybe one day she will follow in my footsteps??
We are starting to wrap up homeschooling. Our last day is May16th. I am happy with what Miriam has learned and can't wait for both of us to have a break. It is really hard right now to even be motivated to do anything myself. I can't wait to knock that off my list every day.
April 29, 2008
April 23, 2008
I believe
I was at the most amazing birth yesterday. They are all amazing, but all so different. It amazes me that Dr's set conditions on birth based on what is normal. I've never seen a "normal" birth.
My client hired my just 3 weeks ago. She wanted a VBAC after 2 c-sections and knew she would need extra support. She had a day and a half of early labor and then it really kicked in late Mon. night. I got called out at 2am Tues. and met them at the hospital. She was 5 cm when we got there. This is what I always hope for, but several of my clients get there earlier in labor. We got settled in a room and the midwife came in and my client was already at 7cm. So I'm thinking this will go quickly and I'll be home before lunch. Well, a couple of hours later, she was still 7cm and later she was still 7cm. My client was handling the contractions well and they were spaced out so she had a break between them. The mood was light in the room until the midwife came in and wanted to give her an IV and break her water. My client wanted no intervention whatsoever. We got the midwife to let us think about it. I did think she needed the IV because she was not keeping anything down. She was throwing up often which was hard for me to handle, but I knew she and her baby needed some kind of nourishment because this labor could go on for a while. She agreed to the IV, but not breaking her water. After that the midwife came in more often. Every time they checked her, 7cm. They wanted to break her water so badly and started using what I call "scare tactics". They told her that her uterus might be getting tired and the scar might rupture, because after all, she has had 2 c-sections. Also, if she "failed to progress" that could end up as a c-section. Staying at 7cm for so long did not discourage my client, but the things they said did. Her husband and I comforted her and protected her. Each time they came in to talk bout it, she stuck to her wants and did not let them break her water. When it was almost 2pm, the midwife was in again giving the same talk. While they were talking, the baby moved and they had to adjust the monitor. Then my client went to the bathroom. I heard her having a contraction so I went in to help her. I could tell this one was different and more intense. Then she cam out and had a more intse one and I knew this was it. The Dr over the midwife came in and checked her and she was 9.5cm. I cried when I heard this. With the next contraction she was ready to push. She was able to squat through most of pushing and laid back the last few minutes and boom a beautiful baby girl was born. She was 7cm for almost 10 hours and then went to complete and had a baby in about 30 minutes. It was awesome. She was so happy. I say "I believe" because I saw how beautiful and powerful a woman can be in labor. Not only had she achieved her goal, but she had done it on her terms. This birth really touched me because this is where I was just a few years ago. Wanting a VBAC and a natural birth so badly, but scared the Dr's would do something to mess it up. Well, she did it and the only thing she had to give in on was the IV fluids. She was so happy and I am so proud. It is such a tremendous priviledge to be present at a birth!!!
My client hired my just 3 weeks ago. She wanted a VBAC after 2 c-sections and knew she would need extra support. She had a day and a half of early labor and then it really kicked in late Mon. night. I got called out at 2am Tues. and met them at the hospital. She was 5 cm when we got there. This is what I always hope for, but several of my clients get there earlier in labor. We got settled in a room and the midwife came in and my client was already at 7cm. So I'm thinking this will go quickly and I'll be home before lunch. Well, a couple of hours later, she was still 7cm and later she was still 7cm. My client was handling the contractions well and they were spaced out so she had a break between them. The mood was light in the room until the midwife came in and wanted to give her an IV and break her water. My client wanted no intervention whatsoever. We got the midwife to let us think about it. I did think she needed the IV because she was not keeping anything down. She was throwing up often which was hard for me to handle, but I knew she and her baby needed some kind of nourishment because this labor could go on for a while. She agreed to the IV, but not breaking her water. After that the midwife came in more often. Every time they checked her, 7cm. They wanted to break her water so badly and started using what I call "scare tactics". They told her that her uterus might be getting tired and the scar might rupture, because after all, she has had 2 c-sections. Also, if she "failed to progress" that could end up as a c-section. Staying at 7cm for so long did not discourage my client, but the things they said did. Her husband and I comforted her and protected her. Each time they came in to talk bout it, she stuck to her wants and did not let them break her water. When it was almost 2pm, the midwife was in again giving the same talk. While they were talking, the baby moved and they had to adjust the monitor. Then my client went to the bathroom. I heard her having a contraction so I went in to help her. I could tell this one was different and more intense. Then she cam out and had a more intse one and I knew this was it. The Dr over the midwife came in and checked her and she was 9.5cm. I cried when I heard this. With the next contraction she was ready to push. She was able to squat through most of pushing and laid back the last few minutes and boom a beautiful baby girl was born. She was 7cm for almost 10 hours and then went to complete and had a baby in about 30 minutes. It was awesome. She was so happy. I say "I believe" because I saw how beautiful and powerful a woman can be in labor. Not only had she achieved her goal, but she had done it on her terms. This birth really touched me because this is where I was just a few years ago. Wanting a VBAC and a natural birth so badly, but scared the Dr's would do something to mess it up. Well, she did it and the only thing she had to give in on was the IV fluids. She was so happy and I am so proud. It is such a tremendous priviledge to be present at a birth!!!
April 18, 2008
Josiah's Birth Story
This is a little long, but worth reading. I wrote his story a couple of days after his birth. This is the only child that I have written a birth story for. It just seemed extra important that I remember this truly amazing experience.
On Saturday April 17th 2004, my mom, Miriam, my friend Donna, and I went to lunch together at Northshore Grill near Coolidge Park. I had a crab cake sandwich. In the middle of eating, I started having contractions (this was about 2:30pm). After a while of 10 minute apart contractions, I told everyone that I thought I was in labor. After lunch, we went to Clumpies for ice cream and then we rode the carousel twice with Miriam. At that point I decided that I needed to go home. The card ride was not very fun and I got home about 4:30. My contractions were already 6-8 minutes apart by then. Jeremy was taking an Engineering exam that day and didn't get home until 5:30 when he found out I was in labor. I called our doula, Kelly, and she said she thought I was in labor. I did some house cleaning, laundry, and sat outside cross stitching while Miriam played. My contractions start coming 5 minutes apart and I called Kelly again about 7:30. She got to my house about 8:15pm and my contractions were 4 minutes apart. Kelly helped me make it through my contractions with breathing, encouragement, and rubbing my back. I spent most of my time leaning over the couch on a pillow. I also spent a lot of time on the phone calling a bunch of people. I called the Dr. at 8:45, but told her I was going to stay home for a while longer. About 9:30pm, my contractions were about 3 minutes apart and getting hard so I decided to get in the shower to see if that would help. Jeremy got in with me and almost immediately, my contractions got very intense. I did not know it at the time, but I was going through transition. They were so close and so painful that it took me quite a while to get out of the shower and get dressed. When we came out, I told everyone we needed to get to the hospital and Kelly said she would have suggested that if I hadn't. But at the next contraction, I could feel his head coming down. All I could do was get on the floor and push. Kelly asked if I was sure that I couldn't get to the hospital and I said yes. She told Jeremy to call 911 and while he did that she was trying to get me to breath and not push. Of course I couldn't help but push and he was coming fast. In just a couple of minutes, 2 ambulances and a fire truck arrived at my door. It was pretty weird for a few minutes, they really wanted to get me to the hospital, but then saw that he was crowning. Also Jeremy was trying to tell them that the baby would be stillborn and they just couldn't understand. They let me push a minute longer and then lifted me onto a stretcher. I then quickly pushed Josiah out. In all it took about 15 minutes of pushing. I asked them to hand him to me so they wrapped him up a little and then I held him. He was born at 9:57pm. They then put me in the ambulance and transported me to the hospital. We had a very wonderful 15 minute ride. it was completely silent and I just held Josiah. I had a completely natural and unmedicated birth as well as the VBAC I had wanted. It was an unplanned homebirth, but was a wonderful experience. Jeremy did so well and Miriam and my mom were there. We spent that night and most of the next day with him making memories. Most of our family came by to see him and hold him. I remember I didn't sleep at all. I was on such a high from the birth and also just didn't feel right sleeping when this was all the time I would have with him.
His life and birth experience changed me in so many ways. I later decided to become a doula, decided homebirth was the route for me, and started a candlelighting with Hospice that now happens every year. Below is a piture of our family at the hospital. Miriam was only 2 years old.
April 17, 2008
Josiah's birthday
Today is my son's 4th birthday. It is so hard to believe that it has been 4 years and hardest of all, I have no idea what he would look like as a 4 year old. For those of you who don't know, Josiah was my second child and while I was pregnant I found out he had Trisomy 13. He did not make it to birth and died when I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Thankfully, we knew what would happen, we had lots of support, and I have no regrets. We were blessed to have him come into our lives. I grieved heavily while I was pregnant and when he was buried, but I had closure and I know he is in a better place. Even today I do not feel very sad. I just want to remember him and celebrate today. The hardest part is that I look at my girls and see the gap. There is 4 years between them. Of course, if we had not of lost Josiah, we may not have had Lillian so soon. And as I said, I would really not change anything. I do wonder what he would look like & act like, and how our life would be different if he were here.
I do plan on posting his birth story. It was a truly amazing experience and changed my life in so many ways. I will also post a picture of him. Our computer officially crashed so it may have to wait until we get a new one which will be soon.
I do plan on posting his birth story. It was a truly amazing experience and changed my life in so many ways. I will also post a picture of him. Our computer officially crashed so it may have to wait until we get a new one which will be soon.
April 13, 2008
Time Alone
First, if you read my blog, my computer is messed up so I don't know how much I'll get to post in the next week or two.
Jeremy and I had our night out on Friday. We went and had an $80 dinner. Anniversaries and birthdays are the only time we do this so we spared no expense. Then we spent the night at a bed and breakfast on lookout Mnt. It was nice, but I never sleep well when I'm away from home. Even when we got back, the girls wanted to stay with my parents so we had most of the day Sat alone.
I've been worried about my mom lately. A couple of weeks ago, she got really sick and was in bed a few days. We finally got her to the Dr and she has been diagnosed with Vertigo. She has been doing better, but is still not her usual self. We don't know what exactly is causing this so I hope we can find that out soon.
Jeremy and I had our night out on Friday. We went and had an $80 dinner. Anniversaries and birthdays are the only time we do this so we spared no expense. Then we spent the night at a bed and breakfast on lookout Mnt. It was nice, but I never sleep well when I'm away from home. Even when we got back, the girls wanted to stay with my parents so we had most of the day Sat alone.
I've been worried about my mom lately. A couple of weeks ago, she got really sick and was in bed a few days. We finally got her to the Dr and she has been diagnosed with Vertigo. She has been doing better, but is still not her usual self. We don't know what exactly is causing this so I hope we can find that out soon.
April 08, 2008
Pregnancy at Night
My pregnancy has gone really well. In fact right now, I really don't feel pg during the day. My pants still fit and I feel good. It is a different story at night. I had forgotten about the getting up once and sometimes twice to pee. Then sometimes when I wake up I have a hard time going to sleep and then I get hungry so I get up for a snack. I'm also just not comfortable at night and toss and turn. I did get out my body pillow yesterday so that should help. I'm not really complaining because it could be worse and at least it is a sign that there is a baby that is growing and pushing on my bladder. My first midwife appt is juts a few weeks away now and I'm so excited.
On another night time note, Lily likes to get up with Jeremy in the morning at least twice a week. She will get up between 6-7am and then will stay up watching cartoons after he leaves. She always comes back to bed by 8am. Yes, I'm a bad mother, I let my 2 yr old stay up by herself. She never gets into any trouble in the morning. Today though, she told me that she had gotten candy after daddy left. Right now he has a bag of candy beside the recliner he has been munching on. Lily must have found it this morning and helped herself. I can only hope that it was just a couple of pieces. I did pull a sticky crumb off her pajamas this morning.
Today is Jeremy's and my anniversary. We have been married 8 years. I just don't know how I have put up with him this long ;)! We have really had a good marriage. We will be celebrating Friday evening while the kids spend the night with my parents!!
On another night time note, Lily likes to get up with Jeremy in the morning at least twice a week. She will get up between 6-7am and then will stay up watching cartoons after he leaves. She always comes back to bed by 8am. Yes, I'm a bad mother, I let my 2 yr old stay up by herself. She never gets into any trouble in the morning. Today though, she told me that she had gotten candy after daddy left. Right now he has a bag of candy beside the recliner he has been munching on. Lily must have found it this morning and helped herself. I can only hope that it was just a couple of pieces. I did pull a sticky crumb off her pajamas this morning.
Today is Jeremy's and my anniversary. We have been married 8 years. I just don't know how I have put up with him this long ;)! We have really had a good marriage. We will be celebrating Friday evening while the kids spend the night with my parents!!
April 03, 2008
Busy, Busy, Busy Again
Okay, I know I write alot about how busy we are. Sometimes I just feel like I don't even get a chance to slow down. Of course, this is really my fault. The kids activities are not too much for me and really don't take too much time. Homeschooling a Kindergartner couldn't be easier. My problem is that I can almost not stand to be at home all day. I know women who love to be at home and doing things around the house. This is not me. It is very rare for me to be at home all day. This usually only happens when I am sick or one of the girls is very sick. I don't know why I am this way, but I think I always have been. The bad thing is that my housework suffers. I make sure that we have clean dishes, clean clothes, I cook dinner, etc. But I am really bad about just picking up. The girls get their toys everywhere and we clutter the tables with papers. This in turn makes it hard to sweep, mop, and vacuum. Then, I think that is one reason I stay away from the house. Because then I have the excuse that I wasn't home all day and therefore didn't have time to pick up. Also, my husband is the exact opposite of me. he prefers to stay home and often complains about how busy I keep us. I do try to plan for him to stay home so he can do work around the house, but I think he likes the excuse that "I keep him too busy" and that is why the work around the house doesn't get done. So I've let my house go this week and now I'm looking at it thinking I could get some cleaning done today. Except, we're fixing to go to bowling league, I still haven't homeschooled Miriam today, and then I'll have to cook dinner. Maybe tomorrow?
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