Come on baby

Today was my grocery shopping today. I go to Publix first and got o Food Lion later. I was very happy with how I did today. I bought $133 worth of food and paid $89 after store specials and coupons. One day I hope to cut my bill down even more. I like to stock up, but just do not have the room here. I still have to get a few more things. My mom kept the girls so I had the morning free of them which they made up for in the afternoon.
I had an appt with Debi this afternoon. The girls fought on the way there, while we were there, on the way back until lily fell asleep, and then have been fighting since we've been home. They come to tell me what the other one has done and I just say "I don't care and go away". I really just can't deal with the bickering right now. Everything is going well with the pregnancy. It is surreal to think that withing the next 2 weeks or so, I will have this baby in my arms. I wasn't going to take herbs this time, but I think I'm going to just to help the baby come sooner. I really want to go no later than Nov. 14. We will see if I can encourage this baby to go ahead and come next week!

7 Things about my kitchen

I was tagged to do this post several days ago and have been lazy about it.

1) My kitchen is a tiny square. The is less than 3 feet between the fridge and stove although they are on opposite walls. We have a separate dining room, but if it was open, my kitchen would seem bigger.

2) Because my kitchen is so small, my husband hates to be in there with anybody else. he will wait until I'm done cooking and have the kids plates and mine made before he will go in to get his food.

3)We have done a lot of work on it since we moved in. One wall had to be replaced because of a roof leak. When my husband fixed this, I also got a dishwasher, bigger sink, and garbage disposal.

4) We just recently "finished" the kitchen although the work was started about 6 years ago. Things were never repainted until recently. I chose a yellow/goldish color for the kitchen wall that no one really likes but me.

5) I usually don't clean the kitchen as often as I should. I try to stay ahead of the game with dishes and wiping up spills, but it doesn't always work. Even though my kitchen may be messy, I am very insistent on my dishes being very clean.

6)There is a cabinet that used to be Miriam's play/hiding place. She would love to get in there so I kept it empty for her for the longest time. Now it is full of appliances and pots.

7) My iron skillet is always on my stove top. I really have no where else to keep it, but I use it almost every day. I'm cooking bacon in it right now. It was really a big step for me to use it, because you are not supposed to wash with soap, just scrape it clean. As I said, I am very anal about my dishes being clean, but I've gotten used to it now.

Menu Plan Monday

Thurs- Italian Chicken
Fri- steak w/ potatoes
Sat.- Chili
Sun- Baked Potatoes
Mon- pork w/ spinach fritters
Tues- chicken piccata

Lunches- hotdogs in crescent rolls & mac & cheese

What was I doing?

The past few days have been so busy. I have had so many things to do and so little time. Add that to my pregnancy brain, which has gotten pretty bad lately, and I feel out of sorts a lot. I saw Debi on Monday and everything is going very well. The reality is that I am 38 weeks and full term and the baby could come at anytime. I really don't expect the baby until after Nov. 7, but ya never know. Jeremy is actually out of town today taking his professional engineering exam. When I went into labor with Josiah, guess where he was?? Taking his engineering intern exam. Wouldn't it be such a coincidence if I went into labor today?? And why does he keep choosing to take these tests so close to my due dates???
Yesterday was crazy too. I did not stop moving all day. I cleaned the house in the morning and homeschooled. Someone was coming to look at the house. Then went to eat lunch, go to Target, and get groceries. I got home just in time to unload before the people were due to come to look. Then I took advantage of that hour and voted early. I wanted to make sure that I got that done before the baby came! Then home to cook dinner and eat real fast. Jeremy left to go to Franklin for his test and me and the girls left because we had tickets to Disney on Ice. The kids really enjoyed the show. We went last year, but Lily was scared everytime a bad guy came out. This show was a little more toned down and Lily is older so she really enjoyed it. It was great to see her clap along and smile and laugh. I even got out with no out of pocket money last night. I told the kids we were getting nothing before hand and I found free parking that was fairly close.
Back to my pg brain. I have been really forgetful and distracted lately. I will get to thinking about the baby or the birth and my brain can't seem to handle anything else. My driving is suffering is the worse thing. I have had several close calls so if you see me on the road, stay back. I left the house without my grocery list yesterday and had to come back and get it. There are many other little examples. I just am not very forgetful normally. If I see you out and forget your name, now you know why!

Cupcakes anyone?

Can you tell what kind of cupcakes these are?? Well, one night I told the girl's we were having cupcakes for dinner. They were so excited, especially when I put their plate in front of them. Then they took a bite and Miriam knew they had been tricked. This is actually meatloaf and the "frosting" is mashed potatoes. I got the idea from a Rachel Ray magazine. You could even make them look better, but I didn't care to. Miriam ate hers and Lily, true to form, licked the icing off.

Menu Plan Monday

Thurs- ate out @ Moe's
Fri- chicken salsa verde bake
Sat- Monte Cristo sandwiches
Sun- Spaghetti
Mon- onion soup ground beef over rice
Tues- Chicken Piccata
Wed.- eat out

Lunch Tues & Wed is home-made french onion soup.

Around the World Day

Our homeschool group held it's annual Around the World Day on Friday. Miriam had chosen to do China. She has had a fascination with China since she first saw "Mulan". Over the past month, we did a little bit each week. I think Miriam enjoyed being able to have a display. Here is a picture of Miriam and Lily with our table.

October 15th

I know I'm a day late on this post, but I was hardly home an hour yesterday. For those of you that don't know, October 15th is the National Day of Remembrance for Pregnancy and infant Loss. For the past 5 years Hospice of Chattanooga has had a candlelighting on this day. I was actually one of the very first perinatal patients with Hospice in Chattanooga. When we knew Josiah would die, Hospice stepped in and took care of our family. I wanted to give back and I heal through action, so when I found out about October 15th, I had to do something. I approached Hospice with the idea of a candlelighting in 2004. Through my plan and their support, an annual tradition was born. It is one I participate in every year although since last night was Wed., I had to leave early for Bible class. I got to catch up with some people and put Josiah's name on the memory table. The girls got to release a balloon early (Miriam asked to do this). I am so glad that there is this beautiful special occasion to remember our babies.

Here is a poem I wrote after Josiah's death. For background, he died 5 days before he was born and despite all the pain/sadness I went through, I would do it all over again just to be able to hold him again!

GRIEF FLOOD

If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to you alive
And give birth to you five days earlier
So we could look in each other's eyes.

If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to you in the womb
And memorize every kick,
Mark every move.

If tears could turn back time,
My son,
I would go back to before this pain,
And just to have the chance to hold you once more,
I would do it all over again.

But my tears can not turn back time,
My son,
Instead they fall uselessly down my cheeks.
I have lost my life- my child,
They drown in this flood of grief.

Menu Plan Monday

I do meal plans Thurs to Wed.

Last Thursday: Chicken & Veggie Soup w/ bread

Friday: leftovers- drained the soup and added more meat to make it heartier

Saturday: Hamburgers with Fries and Fried Pickles

Sunday: Meatloaf and mashed potatoes and corn

Monday: Upside down pizza bake

Tuesday: Beef Polenta Pie

Wednesday: May eat out or have Nachos?

For lunch on Mon-Wed: Bagels with cream cheese and fruit

Got Colostrum?

This may be TMI for some, but it excites me enough to share. Yesterday I was fixing to get a shower and look down and see some wetness on my nipple. I then confirm that colostrum is already being produced by my body. Why does this excite me? Well, it makes it all the more real that very soon, I will be meeting my baby. Very soon, I will have another little one to nurse and hold and cuddle. With my first 2 pregnancies, this did not happen, but with Lily, colostrum came in about this time too. It just so happens that I was washing baby clothes that morning so I wonder if that got my hormones started?? I have so many baby clothes, I could barely fit them in the drawer we cleaned out. They are all 0-3 months and all gender neutral colors. Of course, my babies where this size for about a month, so this baby may not even get a chance to wear them all. Miriam had a fun time putting them up with me and oohing over how cute and small all the clothes were. She is getting really excited. She always makes a point that after the baby is born, she wants to be the first (besides me) to hold the baby. I guess she thinks that is the oldest child's right. She also makes a point to Lily that while Lily is the Big Sister, Miriam is the Big, Big Sister. Sometimes Miriam will add on another Big to include Josiah, because this will be the 3rd time she is a big sister. Lily doesn't really understand how soon there will be a baby. And for me, it is so close, yet so far. I've been having more Braxton hicks and know I am gearing up for this labor. It's kinda scary to think I will spend the next month gearing up though. I don't want to feel like I've been having contractions for a month before the real thing. None of the BHs have been bad though. Although I know they can get worse.
BTW, if you read my blog often, you will probably get tired of reading this kinda stuff. I've got baby on the brain and it is dominating more of my time and conversation now. So I apologize now!

Count down

If you look at my ticker, this baby is due in 30 days. In reality, probably a week after that, but still I have to be ready by Nov. 7th. Now I am feeling the crunch. I like to be prepared and am a planner, so I have a list of things I need and I am getting organized. I've gotten all the baby clothes out that are gender neutral and I have gotten a drawer empty for the clothes. I would have washed them already, but in going through these I realized that I don't have any hats and only one blanket. I know I have these things. I just don't know where since a lot of stuff is in storage. So I am just going to buy some. I also have to finish gathering the things for the birth. There is really not too much to get, but I have to budget in the money for all the things I need for birth and baby. There are also a few things I want, but they may have to wait until after. It is kinda surreal when you get to this point and realize how soon the baby is coming. In a couple of weeks, it could be "anytime". This baby has been kinda annoying with all the stretching as if he doesn't have enough room. I really wouldn't mind an earlier baby this time, but not until November. October is too full and I have several things to do that last week of October.

Happy Anniversary

Today is my parent's 34th anniversary. I am so glad that my parent's have stuck it out through thick and thin to stay together. I don't think we always think of how our actions affect the distant future. I am glad also for my children that their grandparent's are still married. My husband's parents divorced when he was young, so they have dealt with that. Also my brother and Jeremy's brother are both divorced. I know my parent's have gone through rough times. I am so glad that they stayed together and hope they realize the far reaching affects of this. I hope they realize how important their marriage is to so many people. So today, we are celebrating. I have made a cake and have them a card. I'm also slipping in some money so they can go on a date. Since they are raising my nephew, it has been far too long since they have had a date.
Mom & dad- I wish you many more years of marriage. Hopefully most of them happy and fulfilling ones. Thanks!

Appreciation

My husband came home last night and came in the kitchen while I was cooking. He said he had thought about stopping and getting me flowers on the way home, but he didn't. I was not hurt, but flattered. Just that he thought about me. Then later in the evening, he told me he appreciated all that I do. He doesn't often do either of those and he made me feel good last night. I know he appreciates all that I do, but he rarely says that. Of course, I don't know if I tell him how much I appreciate what he does often. I do make a point to the girls and often in front of him, how lucky we are that he provides well for our family. I was thinking about the quote " behind every successful man is a good woman." the other night. I was thinking if I was doing the right kind of things to help my husband succeed. I take care of a lot around the house so that he doesn't have to worry about it. I try to listen when he tells me about work (sometimes it is not interesting). I try to make suggestions for changing or doing things better without nagging. Sometimes I end up making him feel like a failure when I do this though. I don't mean to do this. He just does things differently than I would and I think my way is better so this translates into he is wrong. I consider myself fairly organized and I like to plan everything out and he is the opposite of this. I think this is where a lot of his problems come from, but I also think that no matter how much I tell him to plan and prioritize, it is just not his way. Despite all his flaws, I hope he knows that I do truly love him and wouldn't want to live without him. I hope he feels the same about me.

On another note, a friend of mine had her 1st baby yesterday. I don't know all the details yet, but know she ended up with a c-section. This is my soapbox. I saw her about a month ago at her shower (she lives out of town) and spoke with her about her birth plans. She did not take a childbirth class or hire a doula, yet she did wish to have the baby naturally. I offered my services for free if she wanted. I later told my mom that I saw a c-section and that is what happened. As I said, I don't know the details, but I doubt that the section was truly needed as very few are. I could find out I'm wrong. I am glad that both mom and baby came out fine, but I know how important a birth can be and I also know the physical pain of a c-section. I also know that she will probably be condemned to "once a c-section, always a c-section". To some women, this is a small matter, but not to me. This is why I took my births out of the hospital.