6 year crisis

I feel like I write about Lily more often then Miriam. Lily is always into something, says cute things, and is at a fun age. Miriam has always been a calmer child and fairly obedient. I am having trouble with her lately. I don't know if the pregnancy is bothering her or it is just a 6 year old thing. First lately, she is ignoring most of what I say. She just doesn't even respond. I would rather her tell me No than have to repeat myself and get no reaction. She gets punished, but is not changing her attitude. Also, she loves to stay with my mom while I run errands or other things, but lately she is crying to go even when I want her to be with me. I don't mind her spending time with my parents, but sometimes I want her to be with me. This hurts my feelings, but I also get angry as it has made me late to things or messed up my plans for the day. I have talked to her about both of these, but she has no reason for doing them. I really don't know what to do about it. I have talked with her and she gets punished also. I am planning on a little date with her. We can talk more and just spend time together which we haven't done in a while. She is a good child and very responsible. She also enjoys things that I like to do like going to plays and historical sites. I really enjoy her, but right now I don't even really want to do something with her because of her not wanting to be with me. That is very petty though. I just hope that if we reconnect, she will listen to me more. I really need her to be there to help me.

Leave the Kids at Home

Have you ever been somewhere and the kids acted up so you just left. Today we were on our way to the grocery store and stopped by the bank. I let the girls get suckers which is a treat because they are not allowed sweets before lunch. Miriam was not happy with the flavor she got and wanted Lily's. She forced Lily to take her sucker, but Lily was already licking hers. Miriam threw a little fit and Lily offered her sucker, but Miriam wouldn't take it because it was already licked. I wasn't far from the house so I turn around and head home. this causes Miriam to get more upset. Then something happened and I took away everyone's sucker. this made Lily cry for her sucker. then we got home and they wouldn't get out of the van and were screaming and crying. Of course, one of my neighbors was out walking his dog. We did go back out later and all was fine, but it did mess up my day and put me in a bad mood. I think my hormones are changing again. I have just not been very patient lately. Part of it is the stress of getting the house fixed up. I was kinda proud of myself for sticking to my word of going home. I often threaten this, but won't leave when I have a buggy full of stuff. I don't know why kids don't get used to running errands with their mother. They fight in the buggies, touch everything when they walk, run off, cry for a toy or candy, etc. It seems like no matter what I try, they can't be good the whole time. Am I asking to much??

Good Times

We had a pretty good weekend. On Friday. my parents, A.J., the girls, and I went to lake Winnie. I like to go at least once a summer and the weather was perfect. It was warm but cloudy all day so no one got too hot or sunburned. I rode a lot of the kiddie rides with Lily which are really all I can handle now. This was the first year Miriam was tall enough to ride the adult rides. My dad and A.J. rode them with her. She was so excited all day and her daredevil really came out. She loved every single ride. Her favorites were the cannonball and the big swings. I still wouldn't let her ride a few things. I just didn't think her little body was ready for it. We stayed until closing time so the kids could see all the lights. We all had a really fun day. Lily was exhausted and fell asleep on the way home. I had made a list at the beginning of the summer of stuff we wanted to do. Some free things and some that cost money. We have already knocked several off the list including Lake Winnie. I hope we can do them all.

Misc

Today is just a lot of little things going on. First, I saw an article on line about the AMA attacking Rikki Lake recently. If you didn't know, she had her second child at home and has become an advocate for homebirth as well as made a movie about it (The Business of Being Born). The movie was really good. It is funny to me how the medical world feels so threatened by the small percentage of us who choose homebirth. When all we want is the choice to give birth where we choose. I am so thankful that I live in a state where homebirth midwives are legal and governed so that I know I can get quality care of my choice and not worry about consequences. I truly believe homebirth is not for everyone, but what kind of country would we live in where abortion is legal and homebirth is not. How far could that extend. Would a miscarriage at home become illegal?? I could go on about this, but here is a link to the article.
http://www.comcast.net/articles/tv/20080617/People.Ricki.Lake/

I am now feeling the baby move several times a day. I will be halfway there tomorrow. I am still kinda in a state of not really believing I'm pregnant. I still physically feel like myself. In a way, I am totally unprepared for this baby, but I do plan on taking the last couple of months to focus on all that.
Lily has totally weaned. She was just nursing at night anyway and then we would skip nights. When we started skipping nights my breasts started to get sore so I just started saying not tonight. She has not nursed now for a week and a half. I was ready to wean and so was she, but I still feel a little guilty and I miss it. She is not much of a cuddler so I will miss that time of closeness. I nursed Miriam until just over 3 yrs old, so I feel guilty for weaning Lily "early". I know many people would think I was crazy for nursing that long. So now I have my breasts to myself for a little over 4 months. For the last 6 yrs (since Miriam's birth) I have only not nursed for 5 months. One day my body will be totally my own again!

Defeated

Do you ever feel like your efforts to be a good wife and mom are being deliberately sabotaged? I've had one of those days. Actually it started last night. I won't go into too much detail, but I spent a lot of time and effort yesterday doing something I thought was helpful and good for my family, only to have it completely ruined. At first there was a "so what" attitude, until I started crying which I couldn't help but do. I just felt utterly defeated. There have been a few other things recently that have happened similar to this, but I managed to keep strong. I just couldn't last night and felt like giving up. It felt like I've been trying very hard lately and no one has noticed. Not only that, but have even "undone" things I have completed. So I'm having a down day. Not really a bad day, just down. This morning as we were getting up Miriam decided to flop down on the bed as I was raising my head. The back of her head hit me right at the eyebrow. I just didn't need that today of all days so now I have a headache on top of just being sad. I do feel like having a pity party for myself. I really don't feel like this very often. Not that things don't bother me, but that I normally don't react this strongly. I'll probably feel better tomorrow.

Graceful

Before I had Lily, I thought my children would all be similar to Miriam. While Lily certainly has things in common with Miriam, she is so different. One area it is very apparent is gracefulness. Miriam has always been graceful and had good balance. She is great at gymnastics and learned to ride a bike early. Lillian was not blessed with this. .Of course, this does not stop her from trying everything because she is also fearless. Miriam has always been more timid. Lillian is my child that I think we will be making emergency room visits for broken arms, deep cuts, etc. On Friday, she had one of those days where every time I turned around she was getting hurt. She fell and burned her bottom on our space heater in the bathroom, she fell down some stairs, scraped a leg (don't know how that happened), and that night went fishing and got a hook caught in her calf. Yesterday, her face hit a spring on the trampoline and she has a mark. Then last night, she woke up shaking and wouldn't stop. She did have a fever, but I hate it when they do things that are out of character. It really scares me and Lily has done several of these really weird things since she was born. Lily is very tough also. Most of these things don't even phase her. I worry so much about her making it to adulthood. I feel like I have to watch her like a hawk. I just hope this next baby is a bit more mild mannered. I don't think I can handle 2 Lily's.

Painting

This weekend was again spent working on the house. I had hoped that we would get enough done that we could put it on the market this week, but it looks like we need one more weekend. On Saturday, dad and Jeremy built the stairs for the new back door. It turned out pretty good. On Sunday, Jeremy and I finished painting the back of the house. I think it turned out really well. All that is left in back is to put the gutter back up. Then all we have to do is paint the front. It is getting to where there are only small things to do. I am planning on putting the house for sale before everything is done and still work on it. If someone wants to buy it like it is, fine by me. I really don't want to spend too much more on the house or we won't make any money. So we had a busy weekend and it was so hot. I'm sure everyone is aware of that. I hope the rest of the summer is not going to be like that.

Day Four

Potty- 10
Accidents- 20
I'm sorry to say that I feel like this is useless right now. After the first day, she knew what to do, but just refuses to do it. I really do think this is more of a defiance thing than actually not being able to do it. When you ask her why she won't go potty, she says "I don't want to." She has had so many accident that my husband is calling her "Puddles". She even peed on his phone last night. She doesn't care when she has pee running down her legs at all and will not tell me when she has to go. I just am too lazy right now and this may have to wait until after the baby is born. Oh well. I'm going to keep encouraging her, but am not actively going to try either. At least I saved a little bit on diapers the past few days!

Three day Tally

Potty- 7
Accidents- 15
I don't remember it being this hard with Miriam. Of course it has been almost 4 years since I potty trained her. Lily is just a bit more stubborn and strong willed. I am being a bit lazy myself and probably am not as vigilant as I should be. I wish they would just potty train themselves. Lily knows what to do. Several times I have put her on the potty and sat with her and she would do nothing. then she would have an accident 5 minutes later. Plus she really doesn't care if she is wet. She peed while jumping on the trampoline yesterday and then just kept jumping. Diapers are so much easier and I am having to force myself not to put them back on her.

Two Day Tally

Potty- 4
Accidents- 10
She is starting to get the idea. Thanks for your comments. I think I will try no underwear around the house. I think the first day she just wanted to see if I was really serious about this!

The Score

Using the potty- 0
Peeing or pooping in underwear- 7

Lily Training

Lily is 2 and 1/2 years old and there have been several things I've been working on lately. Also with the baby coming there were some necessary things for her to outgrow. One thing we've been working on for a while is getting her out of my bed. We have a family bed- a queen and twin beside each other. Miriam has slept in the twin and now I have moved Lily over to share that bed. I had to make room for the new baby and wanted to do this early so that she doesn't think the baby kicks her out of the bed. She has done really well with this and it is no problem now. I have also been gently and gradually weaning. She has only nursed at bedtime for a while now so I started skipping nights. Sometimes she doesn't ask, sometimes she asks and I gently tell her not tonight and snuggle with her. Sometimes she does throw a fit and I will go ahead and nurse her. This is usually when she is over tired and she does fall asleep quickly. Now today, I am trying potty training. I have put her in underwear this morning and will will try for a couple of days and see how it goes. I'm kinda worried it won't work yet, because she doesn't care if she is in a soaking wet or dirty diaper. If by Friday, she is not improving, I will stop and try later. I feel bad doing all this at once, but I also feel like I'm not pushing her so it is less traumatic for her. I am a little worried about regression once the baby is here, but I also feel like Lily is truly ready for all this. She has done so well with it now, I just don't think that will happen.