Josiah's birthday

Today is my son's 4th birthday. It is so hard to believe that it has been 4 years and hardest of all, I have no idea what he would look like as a 4 year old. For those of you who don't know, Josiah was my second child and while I was pregnant I found out he had Trisomy 13. He did not make it to birth and died when I was 39 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Thankfully, we knew what would happen, we had lots of support, and I have no regrets. We were blessed to have him come into our lives. I grieved heavily while I was pregnant and when he was buried, but I had closure and I know he is in a better place. Even today I do not feel very sad. I just want to remember him and celebrate today. The hardest part is that I look at my girls and see the gap. There is 4 years between them. Of course, if we had not of lost Josiah, we may not have had Lillian so soon. And as I said, I would really not change anything. I do wonder what he would look like & act like, and how our life would be different if he were here.
I do plan on posting his birth story. It was a truly amazing experience and changed my life in so many ways. I will also post a picture of him. Our computer officially crashed so it may have to wait until we get a new one which will be soon.